I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
