Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
