apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
