Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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