what if every blade of grass was a penis?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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