Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
