dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
