dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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