it was like eating out sand paper
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
