I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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