Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.

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(416): View more from Ontario

So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.

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(207): View more from Maine

At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.

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(940): View more from Texas

you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.

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(410): View more from Maryland

69'd by candlelight when the power went out.

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(305): View more from Florida

I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo

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