that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
