What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
