I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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