Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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