I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
