she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize