we have officially lost it.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
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