Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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