id be glad to
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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