I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
