The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize