She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
