Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
