I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
