Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
