found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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