I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I bet he comes in French.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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