Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
