Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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