dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize