either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
