Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
