so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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