Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize