At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
