Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
