I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
