3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
