nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
