i barfeds in our rink
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
