My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
