I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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