we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
