You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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