eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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