You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
