we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
