i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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