im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
