Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i will never coherently bang her
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
