Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
