Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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