i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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