I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I wish there were birth control emojis
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
