Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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