Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
