her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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