He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
