I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
