I want you more than these girls want KFC
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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