the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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